The Eternal Obsession for Perfection

Weigh-In

2010-06-05T08:53:00.002-04:00

206.6 pounds!!

I have set a new low (post pregnancy) and there will be no looking back... must get under the 200 mark and stay there for good!

Weigh-In

2010-04-29T12:21:00.005-04:00

215 lbs! Lowest weight post-pregnancy! I am starting to have a new found respect for the effects of stress on my appetite!

I am going to update my stats; but I am guessing that the current stats are from last April.

Old Stats:

Age: 23

Height: 5'7

Current Weight: 235lbs

Pre-pregnancy Weight: 200lbs

Highest Weight: 275lbs

Goal Weight 1: 200lbs

Goal Weight 2: 150lbs

Goal Weight 3: 135lbs

Pre-pregnancy size: 14

Current Size: 20

Biggest Size: 24

Die Fat or Get Tough

2009-08-12T14:44:00.002-04:00

I am currently reading the book "Die Fat or Get Tough," written by Steve Siebold. In his book he explains 101 differences between "fat people" and "fit people" in their thought processes about diet/exercise. After each chapter, there are critical thinking questions to answer followed by "action steps" to change the way one thinks about fitness in order to increase self-awareness and start getting tough about weight loss.

So in order to increase my own self-awareness about my thoughts and feelings about food, I am going to start journaling with my thoughts and reactions on his book. We shall see how it goes!

What are the three main reasons you eat when you're not hungry?

1.) Boredom

This is a big one! When I get bored I think I am hungry when in reality I'm not. I need to start increasing my awareness of my hunger signs in order to eliminating my caloric intake while bored. The times I find myself in a state of boredom seems to occur the most at night time, where extra caloric intake is definitely not recommended.

2.) When I am upset.

Oh emotional eating! Americans (and "fat people") fall victim to emotional eating all the time. And when I am the most upset, I reach for the most fattening foods... because it feels good. Instead of reaching for food, I need to find alternative ways to satisfy my emotional needs. I feel that, a lot of the time, I reach for food instead of listening to my emotions. It is a coping mechanism I have been using ever since I was a child. A good start to this problem would be to ask myself, before going to the fridge, why am I eating and listening to my body's signals to identify whether I am actually hungry or not.

3.) Social reasons

Well, everybody else is doing it! Seriously, every time you go to a social gathering there is a plethora of food... chips & dip, dessert trays, you name it. Emotions may be tied into this reason as well. I need to evaluate that further to understand if I am guided by emotions while at social gatherings and whether it leads me to eat when I am not hungry.

Realization

2009-05-24T15:18:00.003-04:00

I went to work last night and was smoking a cigarette with a coworker when she tells me she just saw pictures of me last summer. She stuck out her pinky finger and said, "when you looked like this." Of course, being a masochist, I looked at the photos. I wanted to cry...I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. All of the progress I made has plummeted. I am so tired of hearing people telling me to cut myself some slack, I just had a baby. There's women that are back to there original size this period postpartum.

No excuses...

Oh, and I bought some ephedrine online from Canada... so we are going to give that a try!

Starting Again....

2009-05-04T20:33:00.003-04:00

Well, I have fell victim to fast food and lack of exercise since my last post. But today I have been doing very well. Mondays are a new day right? I took 2 short walks, tried to jog a little but that didn't work so well. I am still planning on doing the wii fit tonight. I erased my old info and started fresh. I just couldn't take them telling me that I gained 40 pounds!

Today's intake:

slimfast: 190 cals

2 redbull: 20 cals

dole cup of peaches:

Dinner:

corn

1 piece of chicken in italian dressing

1/2 cup caesar salad

Endless Spiral

2009-04-24T10:40:00.003-04:00

I looked back through my blog today, how depressing! It took me like 2 years to where I was and now I feel like I am back to square one! Sometimes I just want to crawl into that little whole and lay there for days...it takes alot to get me out of these "funks" and back on track. What helped me the other day, after trying on pants from Walmart, was looking into my son's eyes. I knew at that moment that I could do it. Tempation has stricken many times since then, however, and I continue on this endless spiral. It seems to be worse at night, when the hunger strikes. I need to go back to where I was a year ago, I need to get back that control of my body.

I need to stop eating...

The Obsession Continues...

2009-04-23T10:18:00.004-04:00

Well, it has been nine months and it time to start with losing the baby fat (literally). I have been feeling extremely depressed the past couple weeks. I guess I was secretly hoping that when I had my baby I would magically turn back to normal. Unfortunately that did not happen. I know I could have been better during the pregnancy, but I was in denial and didn't think of the repercussions of consuming so many calories (and fat). It is my own fault and now I must pick my head up and start all over. My weight has regressed two years, I am back at 238 pounds, and I have no clothes that fit. I went to Burlington the other day to get some pants and refused to buy anything in a size 20. I was a size 14 last year, what the hell happened? Yes, I know pregnancy...

Blog 9 Month Shut-Down

2008-08-20T04:27:00.002-04:00

I must shut down this blog for awhile due to recent news that I'm pregnant! I will post in 9 months for the baby weight loss.

Weigh-In

2008-07-06T14:59:00.002-04:00

188.8 lbs!!!

Cereal Recommendation

2008-07-03T11:21:00.003-04:00

30g (1/2 Cup) Serving
Calories: 60
Fat: 1g
Carbohydrates: 25g
Dietary Fiber: 14g
Sugar: 0g
Other Carbohydrates: 11g
Protein: 2g

Weekly Weigh-In

2008-07-03T11:05:00.002-04:00

191.6

New Pic

2008-06-24T18:52:00.000-04:00

BMI & Weight Loss Info

2008-06-24T07:32:00.002-04:00

Your BMI is 30.1

BMI	Weight Range	Weight Status
18.4 and Below	117.5 lbs and Below	Underweight
18.5 - 24.9	118.1 - 159.0 lbs	Normal
25.0 - 29.9	159.6 - 190.9 lbs	Overweight
30.0 - 34.9	191.6 - 222.9 lbs	Obese (moderate)
35.0 - 39.9	223.5 - 254.8 lbs	Obese (severe)
40.0 and Above	255.4 lbs and Above	Obese (very severe)

Date to achieve results:

Weight to lose:

57 lbs [30%]

*Recommended:1 lb/week

Date you will achieve:

Jul 28, 2009

* The recommended average weight loss is 1 pound per week. Find out why.

Caloric intake reduction:

Your daily energy needs:

2846 calories/day

Calorie reduction per day:

500 calories/day

Calories needed for weight loss:

2346 calories/day

What does this mean?

You need to consume 2346 calories a day to lose 57 lb in 57 weeks.

Click here to calculate your results!

Weekly Weigh-In

2008-06-23T14:18:00.002-04:00

192.2 lbs

I'm feeling a little under-the-weather today, mainly because it is "that time of the month." When I woke up this morning I was extremely craving a donut. I always crave donuts this time...and there was nothing to stop myself. Seeing as I only ate pancakes and crackers yesterday, I decided to splurge and treat myself today. I know I will probably regret it later :/

The Past Year's Weight Loss

2008-06-22T18:44:00.004-04:00

Another Blog-First Entry

2008-06-22T02:16:00.004-04:00

Just another dull Saturday night/Sunday morning at work. I decided to create another blog that is entirely devoted to my weight loss "program" (as my mom would call it).

Morning: Fiber One cereal (170cals) with raspberries (5cals)
Dinner: Small serving of pasta w/tomato sauce (100cals)
Mixed veggies (30cals)
Hamburger bun (200cals) w/garlic powder & butter (100cals?)
Misc Snacks: Tootsie Rolls

Before Pics

Spring 03

Fall 05

Dec 06
(around highest weight)

May 2007

April 2008